i do not love you

you bend my ideas of temperance and grace
even as i question my selfishness in wanting
to steal your name.

though your eyes hold such texture,
they cannot undo me. i was whole
before you, but after, not nearly.

lately i go lightly through days
with no mind to the hour
because there's only one face i see.

then you tell me the time with lips
pressed to my palm
and i remember,

it was a quiet morning we met.
such a lovely surrender,
that first kiss.

i do not love you
to the stars
for they will eventually burn out.

a fort of half-truths

tourists come through to say
how much they enjoy the view.
but by design, they'll not stay.

that’s my favorite part.

too easily,
i renounced the sightseers
for the lie i twisted into truth.

your youth hearkened shelter
was never going to weather a damn thing.
but i clutched the pillows so tight.

i wanted to believe.

that gets us nothing but war;
and the cycle repeats to show
what fools we are.

lies in july

your smile is a smoke machine;
i'm not fooled.
i'm your diffuser
and i can't break free.
you have the little fires 
i wish would keep me warm.

pretend this state isn't what you're hiding.
people believe so easily.
you demand secrets for ammunition,
for equal footing,
for a price i can't perform.
i will give you nothing.

i refuse to play the game
of a two way mirror;
don't blame me for what can't grow.
the blood on your hands, 
someday it'll be real.

every time you lie, i see the flaw. 
you stare at me with eyes of hate, 
i stare at you and smile. 
the girl on either side sees 
no true reflection.

a tempting offer of death

if i wear my words like a noose
will you throw me labels i can keep?
the sadness, it's not contagious.

your face pops into my brain without want,
and without question, you are staying there.

i'll leave the one i love for you.
i don't care for you that way
but i need you as i can't explain.

grab me tight as you did only once;
lie to me with your mouth
as you say nothing at all.

fall is my favorite

like a summer day you are not,
for those i like to spend wild and carefree,
alone in my happiness, savoring 
the independence and laughter.

more as a winter's night when i dread long hours
and darkness, reaching out to find the cold.
to keep you beside me under the blankets,
held in your warmth, i won't mind being trapped.

don't compare us to spring
because we're neither young nor blooming;
the years have weathered us and my cheeks, no longer rosy.
the rains come the same and you smile like a youth,

reminding me how you captured my heart in the first.
the places we've seen and seasons that've passed,
fall is my favorite because that's when i know
winter is coming; the anticipation, it's grand.

mine in the sky

had i the cloth of heaven in my hands,
i'd weave your likeness between the silver and gold.

i could stare up at you each night
and you'd stay with the morning light.

or maybe i'd drag the skies down among us;
you could walk across the stars to reach my door.

i wouldn't have to close my eyes to dream,
you wouldn't have to forsake me.

let us lie in the clouds and feel the heavens;
it's under my back, between my legs.

if we sit with the stars, we'll be above time
and i'll have more than forever to learn you.

i know you didn't want to leave me behind;
would you be mine if i warmed you with the sun?

until the zeroes stare

i don't want these cards we've been dealt
but i can't throw away what gives me another moment with you.
your heartbeats leave bruises upon my skin
but they'll disappear as surely as you.

hope drains from me until these stamped words mean nothing;
i'm so tired but i can't sleep on borrowed time.
there's no one to show me a sign but i know the end is near
and i'm afraid of seeing the shadows reappear.

i'm breaking my hands on broken glass trying to make sense;
all i know with certainty is that the birds will take you away.
so don't divide and don't look outside
because nothing else exists until the zeroes stare.